ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
