that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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