I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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