i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
