I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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