well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
