just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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