It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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