I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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