I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You smell like stripper and shame
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
