you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
