I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
