he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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