scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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