just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
