I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
