tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
