i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
