Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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