Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
