Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
