the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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