She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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