just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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