Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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