I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Even my vagina gasped.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
