So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
