were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
