Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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