Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
