It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
