we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
