I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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