You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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