Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
