apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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