I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
