apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
