You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
