I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
