Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
