well you can't waste a boner
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
