her vagine was all disorganized.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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