i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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