They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
