You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think my moral compass just broke
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