please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
