oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
