Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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