just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
