So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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